Loyalty
by Skate-815
Summary: Based after I Do, Kate's struggling with her conscience. Should she escape with Sawyer, or go back for Jack? JateSkate elements. this fic is now complete. thanks v much to anyone who helped along the way.
1. Run

**Loyalty**

**Sorry if this titles already been used, I'll think of something else if it has.**

**This is a Jate/Skate fic starting after 'I do' based on pure speculation. **

_Sawyer_

Sawyer lost the internal battle raging within him and looked back towards the Others' camp. There was still no sign on anyone pursuing them, but he couldn't risk looking back again. It was slowing him down. He noted Kate's steps were becoming slower, but he made no effort to slow his pace. They could rest when they got to safety. If they got to safety that is.

He had no idea how long had passed since Jack began his countdown, but he knew they couldn't have much time left. If they didn't find a boat soon, they'd be recaptured.

Despite this, he halted immediately as she stumbled, and he touched her arm hesitantly,

"You okay Freckles?"

"Yeah" she said in an exhausted tone that was breaking his heart, "Come on" he nodded; resuming the run which they both feared would only lead to their imprisonment.

Sawyer smiled grimly as he led their through the dark jungle, with no idea of either direction they were travelling in, or how long it would be before they were safe, if they ever would be again. This wasn't the usual way he spent his morning afters.

Once they had time alone to think, one way or another, he would have to say something to her about the previous night. He felt that he'd said all he needed to properly say goodbye, but now it looked like he might live. He'd finally told someone he loved them and meant it, for the first time since he was eight years old. He'd come 'full circle' so to speak. All the signs had pointed to his death, but he'd been saved. By the Doc, no less. His rival and his only friend in this infernal place.

He knew if they didn't concentrate on escape, all hope was lost for them, but every time he glanced at her, he had to fight hard to push her from his mind.

* * *

_Kate_

He doesn't know where he's going anymore than she does, but she follows him anyway, with no idea why. This is unknown territory for both of them, and she lets him lead simply because he needs to feel in control again. They'd been caged in like animals for too long. A bit of freedom before their eventual recapture was important, and she'd let him lead the whole way back to imprisonment if it helped him regain what he used to be. The strong man who would have fought for his life. The man who would never have fallen in love. He'd know what to do. He'd miraculously know the way back, despite all odds, throwing back insults about Jack while they ran. This silent Sawyer scared her more than the Others ever had.

She glanced behind them as she thought she heard a twig crack in the foliage. She put it down to paranoia, and sped after Sawyer. She was so exhausted; she almost wished they would catch her now, so she could have a lie down in her cage. Except if they went back, Sawyer would die, and she couldn't let that happen.

She also worried about Jack. What would happen if they didn't go back? Would they kill him for risking their leader's life? For forcing Pickett to let them run? Kate always knew that eventually she would have to make a choice between Jack and Sawyer, but she'd never anticipated that the one she didn't choose would be killed. How was anyone supposed to make that decision? She looked at Sawyer again, and wondered if he didn't realise what the consequences for Jack would be, or if he just didn't care.

They broke out of the jungle onto a beach, the sunlight momentarily blinding them. Kate spun as she heard another noise from within the jungle, and from the look on Sawyer's face, he'd heard it too. Someone was tailing them.

"What's that?" Sawyer suddenly murmured. She spun around, and followed his line of sight. A slow smile appeared on her face. If that was what she thought it was, Sawyer would get away.

* * *

_Sawyer_

They ran the last hundred metres or so, and stopped beside the submarine, staring at it in awe for a moment, hardly believing their luck. When they heard a shout coming from the jungle, Sawyer didn't hesitate in scaling the side, and wrenching open the hatch at the top. He held out his hand for her to help her get beside him, but she shook her head.

"You go" she said

"I can't just leave you" he glanced quickly around the beach, and noted that the Others were now out of the jungle

"I have to go back. If I don't they might kill Jack"

"And if you do, they might kill you both" he said. He couldn't believe that they were nearly free, and _this_ was the moment she chose to argue.

"I have to go, I'm sorry" she said, and then she said three words that shattered Sawyer's heart into a million pieces, "I love him." He swallowed, trying to get hold of his emotions, before saying

"You're lying"

"Maybe, but you can say whatever you like, I'm not coming with you" Sawyer gave her one last glance, realising he couldn't do anything to convince her, before dropping into the submarine through the hatch, slamming it shut behind him. His whole life he'd looked after himself. Self preservation was the most important thing to him. So why did it feel that he was leaving part of himself behind on that jetty?

* * *

_Kate_

For a horrifying moment, she thought that he wasn't going to get the submarine to start, but she heard the engine jump to life, and turned to face the fast approaching Others, knowing that Sawyer was safe now. He would make it back to their friends. It was herself and Jack she would have to worry about now. Pickett stopped beside her, just as the radio crackled into life,

"Are you safe Kate?" Jack shouted through the radio. Kate looked Pickett in the eye, and suppressed the urge to tell Jack she'd never felt less safe in her entire life.

"Yes" she said instead, and proceeded to repeat the story he'd told her on their first day on the island. Satisfied, he replied,

"I'm going to have to stitch their leader back up now. Good luck Kate" she dropped the radio onto the sand, expecting Pickett to pounce on her now that his favourite punching bag had escaped in their very own sub. Instead he looked at her almost sympathetically.

"Let's get you back to your cage" he grabbed her arm, though not with the roughness she'd come to expect of him, and led the way back across the sandy shores, back to her cage. Back to Jack.

* * *

**'Tis very Jatey at the minute and well remain so for a while, but have faith skaters, some proper Skate will emerge eventually. **

**Now it isn't the best start in the world, but I'll try to do better next time. If you review that is... ;)**


	2. Return

**Thanks to Vikki, nirky, fugaziclash, KT2785, and speckled girl for their reviews**

Kate woke with a jolt as Pickett began clattering with the chains that now locked her cage. She blinked blearily and sat up, wondering what he wanted. He stood silently in the doorway of the cage, shielding her from the harsh sunlight. She groaned and stood wearily, too tired to protest to his interruption of her sleep. She looked through the bars, towards Sawyer's cage, half expecting him to be there, just as he had been those short few days ago. Even now the cage had another resident, its title would always remain Sawyer's cage in her eyes.

Her eyes fell on Jack, who was still deep into the coma he called sleep, snoring softly. She was starving now, and the very thought of a fish biscuit was enough to make her mouth water, but she couldn't quite bring herself to wake him just yet. The Others pushed him a lot harder than they ever had herself, or even Sawyer. They must have been punishing him for providing a way for Sawyer to escape; there was no other explanation for the brutal work they put him through daily. After Sawyer's departure, Kate's work had steadily diminished, and now, she just sat in her cage, while Jack did the work of two people.

"What do you want?" she asked Pickett, when it became clear he wasn't planning on telling her of his own accord

"Ben wants to see you"

"Well maybe I don't want to see him" she glanced automatically at her old exit from the cage, the hole at the top, which had been boarded up prior to her return.

"Come on, I don't want to hurt you" he took a step into the cage. She believed him when he said that. He had never once laid a hand on her, preferring to use Sawyer and Jack to exploit her. She let herself be led, because, despite what she tried to convey to Pickett, she was curious. She let them put the sack over head as she was brought to Ben's hidden location. She didn't know why they even bothered anymore. It wasn't as if she could escape and tell anyone what they were doing.

A few minutes of blind walking later, the sack was whipped from her head, and she was surprised to see that Juliet had been leading her rather than Pickett. He'd probably doubled back; to set Jack to work, beat him up, or possibly both. She spotted Ben in an instant. He was lying on a makeshift bed, connected to all sorts of complicated looking machines that Jack would have recognised in an instant, but that Kate had no idea about. His breath was shaky, and his skin was as white as a sheet, but he was smiling.

"Well?" Kate asked, shivering now she was out of the warmth of the sunlight.

* * *

Sawyer decided to check his location again. He moved to the periscope, and swivelled it around automatically. He'd self taught himself how to operate the entire sub since stealing it. Not that he expected he'd ever need the weapons. He'd long since abandoned the idea that the Others were actually tailing him. They would have caught him days ago, when his escape attempt had begun if that were the case. The exploration of the submarine was simply to occupy his mind, and keep it off things he didn't want to think about. Such as Kate's last words to him.

She loved Jack. The more he thought about it, the more it made sense. The girls always went for the doctors. Sure, they flirted with the bag guy for a while, but only as a distraction until the good man came around. Sawyer was literate even before they'd crashed and his only possible pastime had become reading. He'd read the romantic novels where the same sort of thing happened all the time. So why had he been stupid enough to believe it actually might have been different in his case? She'd never actually said that she loved him too; he'd just assumed she did because she'd kissed him when he'd asked. It was just a distraction, so she didn't have to answer, and he'd gone along with it, interpreting exactly what he'd wanted to hear.

No wonder she preferred Jack to him, if he was as gullible as that. He moved away from the periscope again feeling defeated, as he saw no sign of his island. He was going to run out of food if he didn't find it soon. He'd been sorely tempted to attempt to leave the bloody place forever, but he'd been more realistic than that. With the amount of food he had, he'd have died on the journey. The old Sawyer might have taken the risk, but the island was slowly changing him. His death wish didn't seem so strong anymore.

* * *

A few days later, Sayid glanced up from his latest attempt at building a radio, and frowned into the glaring light of the setting sun. He, Sun and Jin had returned several days ago, and were waiting patiently for Locke to formulate a plan to rescue Jack, Kate and Sawyer. He stood, as he saw something glinting in the water, and moved nearer to the shoreline, wondering what on earth it could be. Slowly, a submarine emerged from the depths, water spilling off the sides. Sayid knew of only one group of people who had a submarine on the island, and he knew their visit wouldn't be a friendly one.

He started shouting to all the men and women on the beach, telling them to get back, to retreat to the caves, where so many of them used to reside. Few heard him, and even fewer reacted, seemingly every person on the island was now on the shoreline, gazing at the metal giant. He dashed into his tent, grabbed his pistol and fired a shot once into the air. At once, everyone stopped talking, and turned to look at him. He scanned the faces, searching for John Locke, for he would be the one to take charge in a situation like this, but he was missing from the scene, as apparently was Desmond.

"Everyone move back" he repeated, and this time, more complied, probably out of fear for the weapon he now held than anything else. He pushed his way to the front, and aimed his gun at the slowly opening hatch of the sub. After what seemed like a lifetime, it was suddenly flung open, and Sayid's trigger finger tensed. However, the man who emerged was not any Other he knew. Quite the opposite in fact

"Sawyer?" was all he could manage to blurt out

"Hey, honey, I'm home" Sawyer said with his trademark sarcasm, "Did you miss me?" Sayid rolled his eyes, and lowered the weapon, shoving it into his pocket. Sawyer smirked, and dropped into the cool waters from the hatch, wading to the shoreline.

Sayid watched the submarine expectantly, waiting for Jack and Kate to appear, but when they didn't he turned to Sawyer.

"Where are Jack and Kate?"

"I don't know" he replied, his tone full of honesty and defeat. Sayid decided he really didn't like it, so he attempted to push Sawyer to make another sarcastic comment. That was the Sawyer he could deal with.

"I see you survived then. What a pity"

"Shut up Mohammed," now that was more like it. However, when Sayid looked into Sawyer's eyes, he saw no humour, or even anger. Just a vacant look. Too late, he noticed Sawyer stumble, then collapse into the salt water. Sayid hauled him onto the beach hurriedly, wishing more than ever that Jack had been in that submarine as well. Worse, with Locke, Kate and Desmond all absent, that made him in charge in most's eyes. And as he saw what colour there had been in Sawyer's face drain, he felt totally helpless.

**Reviewers are nice readers**


	3. Rescue

**Much thanks to my reviewers- HumanShield, speckled girl, VoiceNumber08 and Vikki **

**Hope you enjoy this chapter. **

Desmond and Locke were back within two hours of Sawyer's return, and came to see him immediately. The other survivors had managed to deduce between themselves that Sawyer was most likely suffering from dehydration, and had fainted from the heat of the sun. He had awakened thirty minutes after his collapse, and after drinking a bottle of water, the colour had come back to his cheeks. However, what worried Sayid in particular was that the sarcastic smile and any sense of emotion was still absent from his eyes.

"Where were you kept?" Locke finally asked the question that everyone wanted to hear the answer to

"Another island, about two miles offshore. We could get there in two days if we tried. I just got lost the first time"

"Will you take us there?" Sayid asked, regarding the southerner with mixed emotions. While he was concerned for his health, they needed to go back for Jack and Kate as soon as possible. Sawyer wouldn't have left Kate if he'd had a choice in the matter, that much was obvious, and despite what he often tried to portray, Sayid sincerely doubted he would abandon the doctor either, so it did make him wonder what exactly had transpired on that other island. It seemed that no one was willing to ask Sawyer that though, while he was looking so broken.

A cry from outside momentarily diverted all attention from Sawyer, for which he was glad. Locke moved to the tent flap and was nearly knocked to the ground when Hurley ran into him

"There's a boat out there! We're rescued!" Hurley shouted.

"Are you sure?" Sayid asked critically, "It could be an Other's boat" He saw Hurley's face fall instantly

"I didn't think of that…"

"Come on" Sayid said to Desmond, and the Scot followed him from Sawyer's tent to the shoreline, leaving John Locke alone with the vacant looking Sawyer.

* * *

Sayid squinted at the horizon, but he couldn't spot any sort of marking on the vessel. He glanced at Desmond, who nodded once, and the pair pulled off their shirts in unison and dived into the cool salt water. As Sayid swam, he was vaguely reminded of the day that seemed so long ago, when he, Jack and Sawyer had found Desmond in his sailboat. They had hoped for rescue and had had suspicions that it was an Other attack, but nothing could have prepared them for seeing the stereotypically drunk Scotsman half unconscious inside the hull. Sayid was glad he had his gun in his back pocket. Just in case. 

As they drew closer, Sayid and Desmond managed to clamber up a net on the side and onto the deserted deck. Instantly suspicious, Sayid pulled the weapon out, and readied it to fire. He heard a creaking on the deck behind him and spun, aiming at the man's head

"Who are you?" he asked calmly

"What's wrong with you? Put down that gun!" he didn't sound like an other, but you could never be too careful…

"Drop your weapon!" A louder, more authoritative voice shouted from behind him, and Sayid turned slowly, and lowered the gun to his side. A man in a uniform was looking at him intently. Sayid exchanged a glance with Desmond and he just shrugged. Sayid let the gun clatter to the deck, before staring back at the man, wondering what would happen next. He didn't have to wait long. Someone tackled him from behind, and he struggled against the larger man, while Desmond was shouting from beside him, fighting several other men in uniform. Then suddenly a familiar voice rose above the chaos

"Stop! That's not them!" Immediately, the men released their grip on Sayid, and he stood with as much dignity as he could muster.

"Michael" he said, hoping his surprise wasn't too evident

"Sayid" Michael nodded in return; "Come here man" he opened his arms and walked towards him, trying to embrace the Iraqi. Sayid stepped back, eyeing him suspiciously

"I hope you can forgive me, but last thing I heard of you, was that you'd just betrayed Jack, Kate, Hurley and Sawyer,"

"But I came back to help." A deafening silence overcame them, "They are okay, aren't they?"

"Hurley's the same as always, they still have Jack and Kate, and Sawyer's a shadow of himself, but apart from that, they're fine" Sayid rolled his eyes

"Put yourself in my position. I had a son to look out for"

"I could never do what you did."

"You think I don't know that? How do you think it makes me feel, knowing that Jack or Locke, or Kate, or Eko or Charlie or even Sawyer would do the right thing and I wasn't able to? But I came back. As soon as we hit land, I came back. What does that tell you?"

"That you're sorry. I'm just not sure that Sawyer in particular will forgive you"

"Well, I'll work on it" Michael looked uneasy, "But first things first. Let's get people aboard." Sayid nodded slowly. There would surely be a rush in which people would fight to be the first on the ship. People would be afraid there wouldn't be enough room, and that they'd have to be left behind. Someone would have to lead them. And that someone was him.

* * *

Sawyer 

He stood slowly, taking another swig of water, before abandoning the bottle in the sand and leaving the tent. He frowned. Could he be seeing things? Sayid was standing on the deck of an approaching ship, looking ecstatic and beside him was… Michael. Sawyer started to run across the sand, and splashed into the water to meet the boat, scrambling up the net just as Sayid and Desmond had done less than 15 minutes previous.

"Hey Sawyer" Michael looked uneasy, as he should do. Sawyer glared at him, and clenched his fist by his side, planning his next move carefully.

"Look, I'm sorry for…" Michael didn't get to finish. Sawyer punched him, sending him sprawling to the deck. Several uniformed men started forward, but Michael called to them,

"Leave him! I'm fine." He remained on the floor, but turned to Sawyer, "I heard about Jack and Kate. We'll around the island and get them. We won't have to leave without them." Sawyer pulled the man he would have once considered a friend to his feet

"We'll get them for what they did to Ana Lucia and Libby too" Michael went on. Sawyer nodded numbly. The others were going to pay alright. He would make sure of it.

* * *

Jack 

Jack opened his eyes and squinted at the sun above his head. He judged that it was well after midday, and the growl in his stomach confirmed it. He pushed himself to his feet, wondering why Pickett hadn't dragged him to work already. Not that he was complaining. A few extra hours of sleep were exactly what he needed.

"You hungry?" he shouted over his shoulder to Kate. However he received no response. He turned to look at the opposite cage. She couldn't still be asleep, could she?

Her cage was empty. Maybe they'd decided to work her today rather than him? She'd been getting it easy lately. However, his questions were answered as Kate was brought through the foliage by Pickett and let into her cage.

"Where were you?" he asked as soon as he judged the other to be out of earshot. Not that it mattered with the cameras watching their every move.

"Their leader wanted to talk to me"

"Ben?" she nodded silently, "What did he want?"

"He was asking me stuff. About Michael"

"Why do they care about him? He'll be long gone by now."

"They seemed to think he'd come back."

"He won't" Jack said decisively, "He's too much of a coward."

"You're probably right" she nodded, leaning against the bars of the cage. Jack retrieved a fish biscuit for himself and Kate, before sinking back down to the floor. It didn't look like he'd have any work to do today anyway. Maybe this was the ideal time to bring up what had been bugging him,

"These cages are really strong" he commented. She just nodded again. "So how'd you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Get out of your cage and into Sawyer's?"

"How did you know about that?" she said calmly. He pointed at the concealed CCTV camera beside her cage and said,

"I just happened to get out of where they were keeping me and I found the camera room. The first thing I saw on one of the monitors was you and Sawyer. Together." A look of horror entered her eyes. There was no need for her to ask what they'd been doing. His tone had conveyed what he'd meant.

"So how'd you do it Kate?"

"Jack you were never meant to see…"

"I asked you a question" she hung her head before answering

"I can get out the top of mine. Then I just broke the lock on Sawyer's"

"Could you do the same now?"

"What would be the point?" It was Jack's turn to shrug, so she went on, "I could if I wanted to"

"Why did you do it?"

"I wanted him to escape" she said as if it were obvious.

"I don't mean that. I mean why did you sleep with him?" he was fighting to keep the emotion out of his voice. He watched her carefully as she swallowed once, and said, barely audibly

"I thought he was going to die"

"Do you love him?"

"No." there was a long pause, in which she corrected herself, "Well, yes, maybe I do. I don't know anymore."

"He loves you"

"I know" she hung her head, obviously ashamed at her treatment of him. Jack took a deep breath. It was now or never,

"And I love you too"

* * *

**Reviews are love**


	4. Rescue Attepmt

**Loyalty chapter 4- Rescue attepmt**

**Thanks to my reviewers.**

Sawyer stood on the deck of the ship Sayid and Desmond were sailing, ignoring everyone else, his gaze concentrated on the horizon. Michael had come back. That in itself was a minor miracle. He'd only started to redeem himself in Sawyer's eyes however. He might have been helping them to save Kate and Jack, but they wouldn't have been there in the first place if it hadn't been for him.

When the boat pulled up in the other's harbour, Sawyer was first off, shoving a gun into the waistband of his jeans as he led the way, confident that others would follow him. It took him a while to get his bearings, but eventually, by mere chance he stumbled into an area he recognised. The place they'd forced him and Kate to dig up those rocks, for an undisclosed reason. He paused momentarily, taking in his surroundings, and his eyes finally rested on the spot where'd he'd kissed Kate for the first time in months.

He'd pretended it was a part of yet another con, and he was surprised she'd believed it. Surely, she'd have realised that there would have been easier ways for him to entice the others into an attack. Surely she'd have realised just how much he'd enjoyed the kiss. Surely she would have realised exactly how he felt about her… But she didn't. Maybe she hadn't wanted to think about it.

"What's the hold up, man?" Michael asked from behind him.

"Nothing" Sawyer said, pushing all thoughts but those of strategy from his mind

"Well let's go then" he sounded on edge, and who could blame him. He knew as well as everyone else did what the Others were capable of.

They moved as silently as an angry southerner with a small army of sailors could do, through the thicket towards the cage area. Eventually, the top of his old cage came into sight and his pace quickened, ignoring the stinging branches that struck him as he pushed his way through. He stopped in his tracks as he heard the familiar sound of Pickett's voice, and slowly drew his weapon. However, then Michael caught his arm

"No. Wait until he's gone. There's no need to kill him."

"There's every need" Sawyer growled, but stayed out of sight all the same. He craned his neck to see through the branches and spotted Kate in her cage, pacing and glaring at Pickett's back. Jack was in Sawyer's old cage, and he looked in a pretty rough state.

"Time for work" Pickett said, rattling with the chain on the cage door as he spoke. Sawyer smiled darkly. Some things never changed.

Jack nodded complacently, and stood slowly, groaning in obvious pain as he forced himself to his feet. As he stumbled out of the iron prison, he stumbled as Pickett hit him on the back of the head. Michael flinched, but Sawyer didn't react. He knew what Pickett could be like, as apparently did Jack, as he picked himself up silently, and continued to walk to the work area.

Kate was watching him leave with no protests. Sawyer noted this with a grim satisfaction, recalling the day she had refused to spilt up their 'team.' He waited until Jack and Pickett had completely disappeared from sight, before walking towards her cage. She didn't notice him right away, but she jumped when she did, eyes wide with shock.

"Sawyer! What are you…" she faltered, "If Pickett sees you, he'll kill you"

"Well then, I'll just make sure I don't get seen"

"There's a security camera" she said dryly. Sawyer swore under his breath. He'd forgotten about that.

"We'll have to be quick then. Get out." He said, nodding at the top of her cage

"This is insane Sawyer. We've nowhere to run"

"I've got a boat"

"But Jack…"

"Will you forget him for two seconds and think about yourself?"

"I won't leave without him"

"I'll get him. As soon as I know you're safe, I'll go back and get him. I'll kill any of them that get in my way, okay?" he waved the gun in the air for emphasis.

"Don't be stupid, Sawyer. They'll kill you before you get within a mile of Jack."

"Just trust me" he pleaded, glancing at the camera again, wondering how long it would take before the troops came to get him.

"I can't get out anyway. They covered the gap after the last time" for the first time he noticed her old escape route was blocked. He quickly grabbed a large rock and hit the lock with it again and again until it gave way. Within moments, the door was open and she was free, but yet she still remained inside, looking uncertain. He took a slow step inside the cage, remembering their previous time together.

"Come on" he urged. She looked worriedly in the direction Jack had gone in,

"If they find out I'm gone, they'll kill him."

"I won't let them" his hand rose shakily to her face, pushing a stray lock of hair back, "I promise." The clattering of a door slamming in the distance interrupted their moment. Sawyer's hand quickly dropped, grabbing hers and half dragging her from the cages. As soon as they broke the line of trees, he halted, and looked around for those he had arrived with. He could have sworn they were standing right there…

"Michael!" he shouted

"Michael?" Kate looked at him quizzically, but this was no time for explanations.

"Over here" Michael called. Sawyer led Kate to the sound of his voice, and turned back without a word. Michael could make the explanations by himself. Right now, he had a Doctor to save.

* * *

The sirens were deafening Jack, as he was forced to the ground by one of Pickett's men. Not that he minded. It was a welcome break from the work. And then he heard a walkie-talkie burst into life, 

"Ford's come back. He's taken Austen." Jack's head jerked up. He recognised the name 'Ford' instantly. James Ford. Better known as Sawyer, for God knows what reason. He was reckless. He would endanger Kate's life, and quite possibly get them both killed in a badly planned rescue attempt. But then again, he reassured himself, he had yet to see a con of Sawyer's that didn't work out. Maybe they would be alright after all.

Suddenly, Sawyer flew from the trees to his right, sending one of the smaller guards sprawling on the ground. Yanking him to his feet by the hair, and using him as a human shield, Sawyer backed up against a wall, and shouted,

"Let the Doctor go" Jack sighed. Maybe he had spoken too soon about the quality of his plans.

"This isn't going to work, Sawyer" he announced from the ground

"Yeah, well I made a promise to a lady, and I don't intend on breaking it." He called back, looking around wildly at the approaching Others.

The unmistakeable sound of gunfire came not from the direction of Sawyer and his opponents, but in the directions from which he had appeared from. Jack turned in surprise, and several others ran to the source of the noise, bring weapons with them, giving Sawyer the opportunity he needed to regain control. He shoved his hostage towards the nearest Other, knocking them both to the ground, before turning on Pickett. With one punch, he had sent him sprawling, and he yelled the Doc's name. Jack was on his feet in an instant, knocking out the final standing Other on his way.

"So what's the plan?" Jack asked

"Run like Hell" Jack couldn't help but laugh out loud, "Come on" without warning, Sawyer began to sprint from the clearing and Jack had no choice but to force his exhausted body to follow

"Who else is here?" he asked as they ran, thinking of the other gunfire

"Sayid and Desmond." Jack nodded. They were who he had expected, "Oh, and Michael." Jack looked up startled, but didn't question him, hearing the perusing Others grow ever closer. Sawyer evidently had noticed too, for he fell back, allowing the Doctor to overtake him and pulled out the pistol, aiming into the distance. Jack didn't look back as he heard the gunshots, but stopped as he heard Sawyer's yelp of pain. He looked around, but could see no sign of anyone through the green walls. He took a small step backwards, and then another, forever vigilant in case the need to defend himself arose.

And then he fell. Inexplicably, he felt the earth give way beneath him and he tumbled into a hole large enough to hold three people if they lay down together. He sat up, and examined his find carefully. He discovered a lid that could be pulled over, to completely shield the hidden from view. He vaguely wondered who had made this, and why, but as he heard approaching footsteps, he yanked the cover on top of himself and lay still.

He listened carefully. There could only be one near him, judging from the footsteps he heard, but he didn't dare breath, because they could always call for assistance. Then with relief, he heard a familiar voice call hesitantly,

"Jack?" He pushed the lid up, and sat up carefully, looking up at Sawyer, the man who'd just saved him. He was clutching his arm, and blood was pouring from a bullet hole in the shoulder.

"Did you get them all?" Sawyer shook his head silently, "well get in then"

"Now's really not the time to be playing hide and seek, Jacko" he said dryly

"Do you want to get shot again?" again, Sawyer shook his head, and reluctantly clambered down into the hole. Jack pulled the lid back over the top and shifted to get as much space in between them as possible. As they lay, Jack asked what had been on his mind the whole attempt,

"Did you let Kate out?"

"You really think I'd save you before her?" was the only response he received,

"She'll be wondering where we are."

"Then let's go"

"No. Not 'til they stop looking for us." Jack knew he wouldn't like it any more than Sawyer would, but they'd have to eliminate the risk of getting caught. If the Others saw Sawyer again, they'd shoot him dead, and the same probably went for Jack too.

* * *

**Insert shameless plead for reviews here.**


	5. Reunited

**After a lengthy inner debate, I've decided the outcome of this fic, jate/skate wise. If anyone wants to know, ask me in a review and i'll pm you, otherwise, i'd like to keep the outcome quiet for those who dont like spoilers.**

**Thanks to Kate DiNozzo, lostie8989, alex and xoxemilyxox for reviewing**

**i know, its been a while, but ive had exams.. and summers coming up, so in three weeks time, expect updates to come a lot faster.**

"How's the arm?" Jack sighed. An immeasurably boring amount of time had passed since they'd last heard an other walk overhead, but he was willing to take any chances, especially while Sawyer was wounded, and rescue was so close at hand.

"Fine" At least he didn't sound in pain

"How's Kate?" Jack said, attempting to get his attention

"There wasn't really time for a heartfelt greeting with all the rescuing I've been doing."

"We're going to need to move soon. It would be better if there was still light when I take a look at your arm."

"Lighten up Doc. We've been rescued. There'll be plenty of time for that when we get to a real hospital."

"You've been shot, Sawyer" Jack couldn't believe his complacency.

"I survived before, didn't I?"

"Barely. And last time, there was a while when I thought you wouldn't make it. Do you want to put Kate through that again?"

"She doesn't care about me."

"She didn't leave your side when you were sick."

"That was before I conned everyone. She hasn't been the same with me since then."

"So do you regret it?"

"You and Locke would have killed each other if I hadn't stepped in." Jack nodded. And while they'd been absent, Locke would probably have taken over

"When you were unconscious, do you remember what you said to me?"

"Why would I remember something I said in my sleep over a month ago?"

"You told me you loved Kate"

"Why the Hell would I say that?"

"It isn't true?"

"No." he said shortly, in a tone that said that there was more to Sawyer's depth of feelings than he was telling; however he decided to leave the topic alone. The less he knew about his relationship with Kate the better, because then he could at least honestly tell her that Sawyer said he didn't love her, and maybe that would make her a little less guilty about the previous night, when they'd slept together for the first time.

Kate had been restless afterwards, unable to simply lie still with him. She had clearly still been traumatised from the aftermath of her sex with Sawyer. They had probably been asleep when Pickett had came from them, and he could only imagine the fear she must have felt to be awoken to the sight of the man she'd grown to know so well being dragged to his execution.

So he consoled himself with the thought it was only natural she wouldn't want to sleep beside him afterwards. Kate had never been a cuddly type of girl anyway.

* * *

"They're taking too long" Kate said to no one in particular as she paced the area they'd set up camp for the night. 

"I'm sure they'll be fine" Sayid reassured her for what felt like the hundredth time since Sawyer had disappeared into the thicket

"I should have gone with him. I would have been able to help."

"They'll be able to hide better than the three of you would."

"But you heard those shots…"

"Sawyer had a gun" Sayid reminded her

"I know, but what if one of them gets hurt?"

"She's right, Brother." Desmond declared from his spot on the log next to Sayid, "If things had gone as planned, they would have been back long ago."

"Planned? There was no plan! Sawyer just went off, feeling a bit too trigger happy"

"All the more reason to suspect the fire was his. They've probably just gotten lost in the jungle somewhere." Sayid's attempt to pacify Kate worked to a degree as she finally sat, staring into space ahead. Grateful for the topic change, Desmond looked around conspiratorially and asked

"So what's the story with this Michael guy? He one of them?" Kate looked up, at once angered by the mere mention of his name

"He was one of us. Then he made a deal with the others. Got himself rescued, in exchange for Sawyer, Jack and I. If he thinks coming back is going to make any of us forgive him then he's wrong." As Sayid and Desmond shared a glance, she added cautiously, "Right?"

"Michael's actions were definitely those of a coward" Sayid began, "But he did come back…"

"If you were with the Others, you'd understand what it was like there. They treated us like animals, kept us in cages and they fed us with pellets. I'm surprised Sawyer didn't knock him out when he saw him"

"He made a good attempt" said Michael appearing from the darkness behind her, laden with logs

"Good" she glared up at him, "Just so you know, I wouldn't be surprised if Jack did as well."

"I'd deserve it" he shrugged, "But I had a son to look out for."

"I don't want to hear it"

* * *

"Did anyone else hear that?" Sayid asked, suddenly on his feet, half an hour later 

"Hear what?" Desmond glanced at the other two, and they looked as clueless as she did. Wordlessly, Sayid picked up the rifle at his feet and aimed it at the thicket, finger poised on the trigger. Desmond too stood up quickly, aiming his weapon in the general direction Sayid's was, still unknowing as to what the noise was.

Then he heard it. Up ahead, there was the unmistakable noise of people moving towards them, talking in hushed tones. However, he breathed a sigh of relief and lowered his weapon quickly as heard Sawyer's voice swear loudly, before getting shushed by Jack. He glanced at Kate, and there was a look of unmistakable relief on her face.

"We're over here" Sayid announced, and Desmond saw his eyes travel to Kate as well.

Finally, Jack appeared first, Sawyer on his heels, clutching his shoulder. Desmond watched Kate closely; curious as to which man she would throw herself into the arms of first. Sawyer and Jack too were clearly hoping for such a reaction as they stopped, level with one another, watching her silently

"Hey" she whispered softly, "What happened?"

"We ran, they shot at us." Sawyer summarised briefly, "They got me"

"Are you okay?"

"Never better Freckles." He gave her a clearly forced smile, "Want to come over here and cheer me up a bit?" she laughed humourlessly, glancing at Jack as she did so. Evidently, this didn't escape Sawyer's notice, for he turned away from them, and lent against a tree trunk, breathing heavily.

"Let's make camp here tonight" Jack resumed his role of leader effortlessly, "But we'll have to have a guard. We're too close to their camp for us all to sleep."

"I'll go first" Michael suggested. Jack looked up at him, the dislike obvious in his eyes, but yet he managed to restrain himself

"This doesn't even begin to make up for what you've done." Michael nodded in acceptance, and walked away from them, presumably to keep watch. Jack and Sawyer walked in opposite directions, having had enough of the other for the day. Desmond watched as Kate glanced between them once more, before sitting down defiantly where she was, in the middle of the clearing, refusing to choose either one over the other.

* * *

"Are you okay?" Kate asked an hour later, as she'd finally plucked up the courage to speak to one of the men she'd slept with on the island, while the other made conversation with Sayid. 

"Physically? It's not that bad, but psychologically, I'll never recover. Did Jackass tell you that when we were hiding, we had to lie down in a hole together for over five hours? There was no room to move, and he wouldn't shut up" Sawyer shuddered at the thought of it she laughed lightly. He'd always known how to cheer her up, "You've no idea how much I wished it was you there instead of him" the smile fell from her face as he spoke again. This wasn't just causal conversation. It wasn't even the playful flirting they used to indulge themselves in; she recognised the emotion in his tone, and this frightened her. He'd never have acted like this before the cages.

"Do you trust Michael?" He recognised the quick topic change for what it was, and nodded "But he's the reason we were trapped with them,"

"Not everything that happened there was complete Hell, Freckles." He raised his eyebrows suggestively, "I had fun that first day we dug up those rocks, not to mention the last night we were there."

"Don't" she whispered, glancing at Jack, who had noticed their conversation, and was pretending not to watch.

"What's wrong?" he asked quietly, "Ashamed?"

"James. This isn't the time"

"It seems like the perfect time. The rescue boats are here, and after we get off them, we'll either leave together, or chances are we'll never see each other again. Like it or not, it's decision time." Kate knew what he said was true, and yet resented him deeply for saying it, because there was no way she could choose between the two men. Both had such admirable qualities, and weaknesses. Both loved her, and at different times, and was convinced that she felt the same for both.

She wanted Sawyer to make this easy for her, and say something so pigheaded, all feelings for him would banish instantly. She needed Jack to be the perfect, heroic knight in shining armour she'd perceived him to be on their first night, and somehow save her from this predicament, either by sweeping her off her feet like in the fairy tales, or stepping back and allowing Sawyer to step up and assume the role of her man, a place she knew he'd excel in if he got the chance.

However, this was no a perfect world, and Kate knew that it wouldn't be an easy choice when they finally returned to civilisation. She felt a small shiver run down her spine as an uncharacteristically gentle Sawyer took hold of her hand in the darkness. Her eyes met with Jack's across the clearing, knowing he could probably see what Sawyer had just done, but she was at loath to pull her hand away from Sawyer, after all he'd said and done for her. Once, what felt like so very long ago, he told her he'd never been in love. Was that another lie or was she really his first love? She really didn't know which she'd prefer.

But then again, Jack had done just as much for her as the other man, and she couldn't let him lose hope in them altogether by looking away, so she maintained her eye contact with the Doctor and clutched at Sawyer's hand even tighter, knowing that to break one's heart now would be her easy way out, but she just couldn't do it.

She sighed heavily. This would be a long trip home.

* * *

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	6. Kate's choice

**Kate makes her choice in this chapter, but it isn't necessarily permanent. In fact, I'm telling you now, it's far from it.**

**Thanks to emily, vikki, mcanj25 and ravensfan52 for reviewing the last chapter. Anyone who wants the end pairing can once again PM. Let me say though, that there's still plenty to come from both ships, so you don't necessarily have to abandon this fic because the end pairing isn't something you ship.**

Kate stayed by Sayid's side for most of the journey back to the rescue boats, suddenly feigning a burning desire to hear more about the ex soldier's past life. She avoided as much contact as her willpower would allow with both Jack and Sawyer, relying on Desmond and Michael to keep them preoccupied, but eventually she knew that she would have to talk to them, have to make the decision that would shatter her own heart and one of theirs in the process, but it was either that, or leave alone.

She knew that escaping the authorities would be difficult upon their return, but right now, she was too preoccupied to care. She would attempt to concentrate, to formulate some sort of plan, before images of the spinal surgeon and the conman would float before her eyes. One offered security, one freedom. A life of restriction, or one where she would be constantly on the move, never safe, never home.

A month ago, she'd have said Sawyer was just like Wayne. A month ago, choosing Jack would have been so easy. A month ago, the southerner was just a simple distraction from the tedium of everyday island life, with his flirtatious manner, and fierce rivalry with Jack, there was certainly never a dull moment.

However, through all this, Jack still remained Jack, that hero who'd dived into plane wreckage to save strangers. He wasn't any less appealing than the less time she saw him. He had the potential to be the one perfect man on Earth and she loved and hated him for it.

Whoever she chose, she wished to remain friends with the other, but knew that it would be possible. She couldn't foresee either of them willing to see her ever again after choosing the other. There was always 'the neither option' as she'd named it in her head. But that seemed all the more impossible for her. She was indeed glad they'd crashed on that island, for it meant she'd escaped the courts for that little while longer, and met two of the most incredible men, with polar opposite personalities.

"Okay Kate?" she was relieved to recognise the voice at her ear as Sayid's and she nodded, "we are almost there."

"Good"

"What are you going to do about the US officers who are waiting for you at the shore?" she was touched by his concern

"I'll do what I always do." She decided, "Run."

"And what of them?" he nodded in their direction and Kate glanced reluctantly at them, as they squabbled over a trivial matter.

"I'll call once I find somewhere safe."

"We all assumed as much" Sayid nodded, "But which one?" the name fell from her lips without her even having to consider it, and while she felt a wave of remorse when she realised, she knew she'd made her choice.

* * *

Jack felt elated when he set eyes on the boats, for although he had known they were there, and he had been planning his routine for his return home, beginning and ending with a hot bath and bed, he hadn't quite realised the significance of them until he saw them. _They were leaving the island_. No more others, no more monsters, and no more polar bears unless he decided to visit a zoo. And best, and yet most frightening of all, no more responsibility. He was free to become irrational, and to look out for himself for a change. He was allowed to be selfish, and simply live off the money he'd received upon his father's death, and the amount he would inevitably receive from Oceanic as a payoff. He knew now that he would never return to being a doctor, because although it had once been all he lived and breathed, he'd seen enough death and destruction to last him a lifetime. And now he had a fifty- fifty chance of having Kate all to himself.

If she were to choose him, she too would be free. If she were to somehow escape and leave with him, he would get her a new identity, whatever it takes. He was doubtless that every other survivor would deny knowledge of the fugitive they'd been harbouring ever since the crash. And she would be free from Sawyer. If she left with Jack, he knew she would wonder if she'd made the right decision, but eventually, the southerner would become a distant memory, only to be recalled on anniversaries of the crash.

But what if it was the other way around? What if he was the one forgotten, and Sawyer was the one protecting her from those on the outside; those who could never understand that Kate was so much more than a cold blooded murderer? He supposed that he would simply move on, but yet, he really could not imagine life without her. However, upon his divorce, Jack had believed he would never love another woman, and yet here he was again, in head over heels with Kate.

Moments later, he was aboard the ship, facing those it felt like he hadn't seen in a lifetime. The islanders he'd left behind when the others had taken him captive, and he was a little surprised at the rush of emotion he felt when he saw them. Claire, Aaron, Jin, Sun… He would miss each and every other person on that rock than he'd ever have thought possible. There were new faces too, obviously members of the rescue party. He brushed through the crowd to a man with obvious authority and stopped beside him.

"Jack Shepherd" the man greeted him with a warm tone, "Your friends speak well of you. I'm William Hunter, and I am in charge of this little procession."

"Thank you for waiting on me" it only seemed appropriate. The vessel could have left long ago if it wasn't for Kate and Jack.

"I have the distinct feeling there would have been a mutiny if I hadn't" Jack nodded and asked the question he had been dying to know the answer to since the crash

"Where are we?"

"5 days off the coast of Fiji. We will arrange flights home for all of you from there."

"Thank you" it was all there was left to be said, and Jack left William Hunter to join his friends once more.

He saw Kate talking to Sawyer from the other side of the ship, and hung back much as he had the previous night. His ability to lip read was non existent, but it didn't take a genius to work out what was being said. Sawyer was silent, looking anywhere but at Kate, and when she raised a shaking hand to his arm, he backed away, and disappeared into the crowds. Jack heard her shout his name, but no reply was given. He slowly crossed the deck and stopped by her side. For the first time, she turned to face him, and he saw her face was tear stained, and she was trembling

"Are you okay?" he asked, despite her obvious sadness

"I just told Sawyer that we can't be together" she was no longer crying, but the detachment in her voice told him she was still hurting on the inside.

"How'd he take it?" Jack asked, knowing already, but thinking it better to pretend he, along with half the population of the island, hadn't witnessed it.

"Not well." He really didn't know what else he could possibly say to her,

"Do you want to talk about it?" there was a long silence, before she blurted out

"We'd never have worked." Her statement lacked conviction, "He knows that we would never have worked. He just doesn't want to admit it." She sat down heavily on the iron steps beside her, and Jack did the same, the pair falling into an uncomfortable silence.

* * *

"I'm sorry" Sawyer looked up as Kate walked through the door of the medical room, thirty minutes after she'd broken the news to him.

"Shouldn't you be with the Doc right about now?" He sighed.

"I just needed to know… Are we okay?" _Are we okay?_ What sort of a stupid question was that? He'd risked his life coming back for her, and the first thing she did was leave him for Jack. The hero. The respectable boyfriend. He hated her for breaking his heart like this. For hurting him in a way he hadn't known was possible, but he still loved her even more, so he gave a short inclination of the head

"We're good, Freckles." He had meant the nickname to comfort her, but she looked away from him as soon as he said it

"Really?" why was she doing this to him?

"Really Kate. Now if you excuse me, I have to get a bullet removed from my arm." He noted her flinch at his tone, but she nodded

"See you around, James." He didn't answer, only too aware that this was true. It would take them five days to reach land and civilisation again, and he knew with a sickening dread that he would be seeing a lot of Jack and Kate on this tiny ship before the journey was out.

* * *

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	7. Home At Last

**Merci to my reviwers, anon-o-mouse (love the name lol), ravensfan52, alex, xox-emily-xox** **and Vikki for their support.**

**Kate**

Four days latter, although she had turned down Sawyer, and convinced herself that there was no chance of reconciliation between them, she and Jack were not officially together. She knew that he was aware of her and Sawyer's split, and probably the reasons for it, but he was yet to make a move towards her on the romantic front, and Kate didn't know whether to be frustrated, or relieved.

If she had chosen Sawyer, he would have been all over her, elated at her choice. He would know exactly what to say to cheer her up, and she knew that he would have no problem driving any second thoughts of Jack out of her mind. However, her real life suitor, Jack seemed at a loss at what to say to her, and while Kate kept firmly repeating to herself that she'd made the right decision, and for the right reasons, it seemed at times that she had chosen neither man.

However, she wasn't sure exactly how she would react if Jack tried to take her to bed with him, or even to kiss her. Despite knowing that Sawyer was safe and well on a different corridor of the ship, it felt like she was in a stage of mourning, and anything now would be just too soon for her.

She'd spoken to him after their break up, and he'd been abrupt at best with her. She hasn't seen him since, and she had the distinct feeling that he was avoiding her. But really, could she blame him? She knew what it must look like to him. He'd told her he loved her, risked his life to save hers, and then ran on her insistence. Upon returning, he found that she no longer wanted him, and had taken up with another man, he who he had been rivalling for her attentions from the very beginning. No wonder he was crushed.

However, she wished she could explain what had happened between her and Jack. How emotional their first time together had been; how it hadn't just been about getting him out of the way, how it had been about love, and not just sex.

She needed him to know that none of that took anything away from their time together. How she had felt when he'd kissed her that day when they broke up those rocks. How it wasn't just about comfort sex for him either. And most of all, how much she missed his friendship now more than ever. She wanted, no needed him to come to her room, and to make some sort of flirtatious remark, just so she'd know that everything was fine between them. Four days of hoping, and nothing as of yet had happened.

She really hoped that either Jack or Sawyer would make a move, before she went insane.

She heard a noise outside her door and opened it slowly. Jack was standing there. Jack, who loved her, and would never judge her. This was why she'd chosen him above Sawyer. Because in the end, he was the one who had come to her, to look after her, while Sawyer was still sulking four days later.

"Hi" she could feel the awkwardness in the single word, but hoped he couldn't hear it.

"Hi… Listen, you told me that you and Sawyer, aren't…"

"Aren't together" she supplied

"Yeah, so I was wondering what that meant, for us…" she felt like screaming. Why else would she have broken Sawyer's heart like that?

"It means that you and I can be together… If you want to, I mean" Kate didn't expect that he would want anything else, but she knew that opinions of people could change very easily. Surprisingly, Jack laughed

"It really shouldn't be this hard."

"Then let's make it easy" Kate decided, and closed the gap between them, kissing him for the first time since they'd been trapped together in the cages. He eagerly complied, and kicking the door closed behind him, and stripping one another slowly, they tumbled onto the bed…

* * *

_Five minutes earlier_

**Jack**

Jack hesitated by Kate's door, knowing that he had to speak to her, but unsure of what he could possibly say. Would it seem too pushy to knock on her door and to speak about their relationship? Would it be too arrogant to assume that they would even have one? Perhaps she planned to leave the boat without so much as a goodbye to either of them, and maybe she intended on continuing her life on the run alone.

He glanced up startled as he heard footsteps drawing near his position and it vaguely crossed his mind that he would look rather idiotic, standing wordlessly and alone by Kate's door. However, he didn't care. It was possible that after tomorrow, he would never see the vast majority of the other survivors again, so why would it matter if they now were to develop a harsh opinion of him?

The source of the footsteps rounded the corner, and stopped in his tracks as he saw the doctor

"Doc" he nodded,

"Sawyer" he replied, feeling that feeling of fierce rivalry build up within him again, "I didn't know your room was anywhere near here"

"It's not." Jack saw his eyes flick to Kate's door, and he knew that he was probably here for a similar reason to him. To sort this out, once and for all, "Are you coming or going?"

"Coming"

"I'll come back later then" Sawyer's tone was stiff, as if he was forcing himself to be courteous, and really Jack realised, he would feel the same way if he'd been rejected instead. However after all this time of Sawyer's arrogance, of his constant, unstoppable flirtation with Kate, he just couldn't help himself, and made one final comment

"Why don't you come back tomorrow morning? I'll be out of the way by then." The comment could be perceived as innocent but Jack knew the way the conman's mind worked, and how he would take it as the shot it was.

He saw the southerner's shoulders slump slightly, but he made no reply and rounded the corner, probably to drown his sorrows in what remained of the medicinal alcohol. A feeling of remorse shot through him, but he was quickly distracted by the opening of the door next to him, and he entered Kate's bedroom, forgetting Sawyer in an instant.

* * *

**Sawyer**

"We're back!" Charlie's excited cries echoed throughout the whole ship the next morning, waking Sawyer up. He blinked blearily, and pulled a random shirt over his head, before pulling on his jeans and heading into the corridor. Like nearly every other islander, he headed towards the deck, and leant over the edge of the railing, staring at the land that was visible ahead, with tall buildings, people, and an airport that would return them home.

He felt a smile appear on his face at the thought of proper food, a comfortable bed and a bath. He would leave the conning business, at least for a while, and concentrate on his freedom, and the ability to do whatever he wanted, when he wanted without having to worry about the Others, or any monster.

As he turned his head, he caught sight of Kate standing alone, looking equally elated. As if she sensed his eyes upon her, she turned to face him and their eyes met. He opened his mouth to shout something, anything to her, but his happiness faded instantly as Jack appeared from nowhere and slipped an arm around her waist. Kate broke eye contact with him, and turned to her doctor, chatting eagerly. The moment lost, he left the crowds and returned to his bedroom to pack up what remained of his belongings, in anticipation of landing.

* * *

**Jack**

"There'll be press everywhere, and family members to meet us" Jack told Kate as they stood by the railing, "You and I can slip away before the marshals have a chance to look for you." She nodded in response, distracted. "What's wrong?" he asked

"I was just looking for Sawyer." She replied absentmindedly, "We need to talk."

"About what?" he realised he sounded a little accusing, and made a mental note to not overreact so much when it came to the southerner. She looked at him sharply

"Sawyer and I were friends, Jack. I want to say goodbye." He nodded, knowing there was nothing he could do to prevent it, and watched her as she disappeared into the crowds.

* * *

**Sawyer**

"Can we talk?" Sawyer glanced up from his packing of a single rucksack and shrugged

"That depends on what you want to talk about, Freckles"

"Before the cages, we were friends. And then… then it got complicated."

"That it did" he agreed, wondering how they could refer to their one night stand simply as a 'complication.'

"Can we go back to the way it was before?" he wished he could return to the time when she didn't know the extent of his feelings. Hell, when he didn't know the extent of his feelings, but he knew it was impossible

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I love you." The words came easier than he'd expected, and she looked at the ground, clearly unable to accept the implications of that. He neared her and lowered his head to her, their lips automatically meeting in a gentle kiss

"Goodbye."

* * *

**Kate**

"Sawyer!" she called to his retreating back, full of rage. He didn't get to tell her that he loved her. He wasn't allowed to kiss her. They had broken up. She had chosen Jack. It had all been so simple for one, blissful night. So why did he confuse her like this, when they were so close to freedom? "Sawyer! Get back here! Now" he didn't even glance her way.

* * *

**Sawyer**

Sawyer's feet hit tarmac for what felt like the first time in a lifetime and he sighed, unable to fathom how much he'd missed the hustle and bustle of every day life. People called to him, holding microphones and cameras, probably reporters hoping for his story, but he'd leave that to someone like Charlie. Someone who needed the money, and was willing to talk about their time. He'd rather leave it buried.

"Sawyer!" he stopped in his tracks, knowing instantly that it wasn't Kate's voice, or anyone else who he'd lived with since the crash, for that matter.

"Cassidy" he said in surprise, noting the toddler that was standing by her side, "What are you doing here?"

"I came to meet a friend. She was in the crash. Maybe you know her…"

"What was her name?" he sighed. He had been hoping for a quick getaway

"I don't know it" she confessed, "She was a criminal. You'd probably have gotten along"

"Kate" he said, knowing instantly that he was correct, "Kate Austen"

"You know her?" she sounded surprised

"Intimately" he smirked, "She'll be coming soon." He turned to go, but she called him back,

"Sawyer! Do you have anywhere to stay tonight?" he shook his head, "Come home with me."

* * *

**I know... How did Cassidy know that Kate was on the plan if she didn't know her name? Answer is, I don't know. Just go with it, okay? lol. **

**Oh, and please review!**


	8. The End

**Well this is it. The end of my first multi-chapter Lost fic. **

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed along the way, or gave me tips or inspiration.**

**Please review at the end, one last time :D**

_6 months later_

_Kate's POV_

I still can't believe that it actually worked. That Jack and I actually managed to fool the marshals into thinking that I was just some innocent holiday goer. They probably realised their mistake eventually, but by that time, we were both long gone, disappearing into the crowds and out of authority's sight forever.

I haven't seen Sawyer since. I managed to track many of the other survivors down, through their interviews in magazines, on the news, anything. I'm glad that their benefiting, making money out of our experience. They may as well of course. The only thing stopping me doing the same is my identity. But I can't help but wonder, if I were to take some glossy magazine deal out, and publish my identity, my location far and wide; would he come running before the police did?

I broke his heart by choosing Jack, but he must understand that I had to. I'm safe now, and I could never have been with him. He's wild, like me. He needs to con, like I need to run. Jack could never hope to understand. He's good, the perfect doctor who probably doesn't have so much as a speeding ticket to his name. Don't get me wrong. I love him for it. I love that someone so different to me can love me back. I love that I can feel again after losing Tom.

Sawyer's killed a man. He knows what it's like to feel the pain, the anguish, the regret. He knows what drives me, because it's what pushes him to be a better person. He was wrong when he said that he and Jack aren't that different, and he probably knows it now. The only thing they have in common is me, and the ties I feel to them both.

Still, Sawyer's long gone. He's probably forgotten me, like I'm supposed to have forgotten him. No, that's not true. You never forget your first love. Tom was mine, and I was Sawyer's. He won't have forgotten me, but he'll definitely have moved on.

Then again, maybe not. He told me he loved me, and he gave up his gun to Pickett, about to allow him to shoot him in the head to save me before Jack intervened.

So if he hasn't forgotten, is he sitting in his house, car, workplace, whatever, thinking about me, like I'm thinking about him now? Maybe, maybe not. I honestly don't know which I'd prefer.

* * *

_Jack's POV_

_Will you marry me?_ It sounds so simple, and I managed to get through it once before. So why does the thought of saying it to Kate strike me as so much worse than saying it to Sarah? Because I didn't love Sarah as much? Or because I knew she would say yes?

She hasn't spoken of _him_ since our rescue, but I know she thinks about him when she gets that faraway look in her eye. The one she seems to get most of the time nowadays. The one she has right now. I cough aloud, drawing attention to my presence and her head snaps up surprise in her eyes, and she smiles softly, sadly.

"You're home"

"Yeah" she appears to notice my suit, as slight confusion enters her eyes and she questions

"A bit formal for the hospital, don't you think?" I nod in response, not able to think of anything witty, clever, or even at all relevant to say. Then I drop forward onto one knee… Too late to go back now. The look of shock on her face is expected, and the words jumble in my mind as I stare at her blankly. Finally after a deep breath, I manage to push the words out that she already must know are coming

"Will you marry me?" It's her turn to look blank now, a far cry from how overwhelmed Sarah was the last time.

"I…" Oh God, she's going to say no. I should have quit while I was ahead. I should have... "I'd love you marry you, Jack." I blink at her stupidly. I really hadn't imagined that.

"But please, will you put some sort of advertisement in the paper. Maybe we'll even manage to get back in touch with Sayid because of it" I nod numbly, not believing my luck, "You can refer to me as your childhood sweetheart or something" she goes on eagerly,

"Anything you want" I smile, really, honestly meaning it.

* * *

_Three months later_

_Kate's POV_

Jack's dead. He was killed at a store robbery, shot dead when he tried to intervene to save a woman's life. The papers will love this. That the good man survived so long on the island, before dying at the hands of some simple, drugged up teenager. It just doesn't seem right. They say that there was no chance of ever saving him. The papers are laping this up, saying the tragedy made a good story. I personally don't give a damn what they say, or if the police recognise me now. Now I'm going to return to running. It's what I do best.

I kill everyone that comes near me. First Tom, then Jack.

Sawyer clearly had a lucky escape.

* * *

_Sawyer's POV_

Cassidy brings the paper with the breakfast every morning, pointing out odd bits about the various survivors that I used to know, telling me what they're doing now. Like I really care anyway. It's not as if the only one I would like to read about is likely to be taking out an article anytime soon.

I was supposed to stay the night with Cassidy and my kid until I got my life back on track, and then I was going to leave. Only problem is, a night became two, then a week, then a month, and now six. The problem is I love the child, more than I ever thought that I would or could, and now Cassidy's interpreted that as love for her. I let her believe that, because it makes her happy, and it makes my life easier. But honestly, I don't care about her either way. However, this morning, something strikes me out of the random stream of nonsense she's spouting

"Oh, the Doctor's dead"

"What Doctor?"

"James Shepherd. The one on the flight with you?"

"You mean Jack?" I ask, already snatching the paper from her hands, "What happened?"

"Killed in a robbery.." I scan the article quickly, a photo proving as evidence that he is indeed one and the same doctor that I knew. And one line strikes me in particular

"Shepherd leaves behind a grieving fiancé, Monica Smith in their home in New York" I read aloud. Jack was engaged? Either he moves really fast, or Monica Smith is someone else entirely

"I have to go" I say, pushing back on my chair and standing up quickly

"Go? Where?"

"New York."

"Why?"

"I want to go to the funeral" it's the easiest explanation to give

"But that's not for another week"

"I need to see some people as well."

"Who?" she demands

"Kate" I admit, knowing that this is the end of any pretence I had of a relationship with Cassidy.

"Why?" she demands, "Why can't you just let her go?"

"Because I love her." it's a relief to be able to say it, and even the hurt expression on Cassidy's face isn't enough to quash that joy.

"If she loved you, she wouldn't have left you for him" Cassidy's words sting, because I know that she's right. But right now, that doesn't matter. Nothing does, but Kate.

* * *

Kate's POV 

This all feels like some horrible dream. It's Jack's funeral today, and many a familiar face have arrived from all corners of the globe to pay their respects. Claire and Charlie arrived together from Australia, Desmond from Scotland and Jin and Sun from Korea. Out of the corner of my eye, I spot Sayid arrive, slipping in quietly, as if he hopes to remain unnoticed. I cross the room quickly, and it's clear from his expression that he doesn't know what to say to me. Well he can join the club that holds just about everyone else in the room

"I am so sorry Kate." I nod, unable to find any words to express my emotions. I haven't cried yet. I want to, need to, but the tears just won't come. Am I some sort of monster? Why can't I mourn the man I was supposed to love?

The now familiar creak of the door sounds behind me, but I ignore it, unable to deal with another griever just now. However Sayid's surprised look is cause enough for me to turn, and the sight that greets me causes my mouth to fall open slightly.

Sawyer.

At Jack's funeral.

He's here.

And he's seen me.

What do I say?

What do I do?

Can I run? Now, at a funeral of all places?

Or do I stay, talk to him, allow him to make me feel better?

He makes the decision for me and before I have time to blink he's standing before me.

"Hey" the single word is gentle, soothing, "I'm sorry" And while once upon a time, when he thought Jack was dying in a cave in, and had been victorious, now I know he truly means it, "He was the closest thing to a friend I had on that rock"

"What about me?" I finally find my tongue

"I loved you." he says, as if love and friendship were mutually exclusive terms. Maybe they are to him.

Slowly, so agonisingly slowly, he pulls me into a hug and I allow my head to rest against his muscled chest for a moment, and then two. And now the tears are coming, as I remember the moment we shared in the hatch after Libby's death. Great sobs overcome me, choking me and he holds me tighter against him. I'm vaguely aware that the funeral guests must be staring. That at my fiancé's funeral, I'm clutching at Sawyer, of all people, but I don't care. I need him right now, more than I need my dignity.

He must know it's neither the time, nor the place, but his lips hover inches from my left ear and he whispers something, his breath tickling me, his words making me want to cry all the harder

"I never stopped loving you." I pull away quickly, and I see guilt flash in his eyes and he opens his mouth to speak again, but I get there first

"I know." the tears still stream as he looks at me helplessly. Needing something, anything to hold on to, I whisper as he had done moments before

"Stay here tonight." he nods, understanding that I don't want sex, or anything else of the sort. I just need him. I need to cling to something of the island that forced me to meet two of the men I had fallen in love with, and who better than Sawyer, to remind me how lucky I am to still have one of them?

Maybe I'm using him, maybe I'm not. I suspect I'll be able to evaluate my feelings when the shock and the pain dies down. For now, I just need him here for me.


End file.
